Operation: Halt Snapperfest

Corn flakes can be eaten with yogurt or milk.

My maternal grandparents were quite a couple. They had separate bedrooms, complete with their own televisions and TV trays. On occasion, they would chat and and/or argue. One morning, my grandmother went to my grandfather’s room and asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He chose corn flakes and they began to talk. It didn’t take long before the conversation turned into a heated argument. My grandmother stormed into the kitchen to prepare her husband’s breakfast. She returned to his room with a bowl of cereal and promptly stomped back to her room, slamming the door behind her. Seconds later, my grandfather bolted from his room. His eating utensil held high, he hollered, “How am I supposed to eat corn flakes with a damned fork?

If you are in or near Ohio County, Indiana and you are opposed to Snapperfest, you are not alone. There are others in your area who feel the same way and you may also want to engage in Operation: Halt #Snapperfest. Should you choose to accept them, here are the mission parameters.

Maintain a Low Profile: Do not publicly denounce Snapperfest or those who support it. Do not engage in online groups, pages or forums that express a desire to end Snapperfest. In fact, if you are not already doing so, you may want to comment on how Peta should just mind their own business.

Take Photographs and Videos: Cell phones are good for taking pictures and there are even camcorders out there that double as ink pens. Get the layout of the land: Campshore Campgrounds, Downtown Rising Sun, etc.

Gather Intel: Who does business with Camp WannaTortureTurtles? What businesses support Snapperfest? Obtain documents, photos and videos if possible.

Start a Roster: Who supports and attends Rising Sun’s Torturefest? It may be tricky to take photos without giving yourself away. That’s okay. Just about everyone has a picture on the web. Check Facebook, online newspaper archives, etc. A simple search for them on Google may deliver results. You can also scan photos from yearbooks. Mugshots would be a nice bonus, too. Please note: Some people are quietly opposed to Snapperfest. They may have only been along for a ride and not realized what was in store. They may have been under peer pressure. They may be one of you! So, make sure that your list is of people who participated in the event or express a lot of twisted enthusiasm for it.

Start a Blog: (Better yet, start multiple blogs.) This is where you display the results of your investigation. Many blogs, like WordPress, allow you to schedule your posts. Posts should be scheduled a day apart some time next summer. When the official date for Snapperfest is announced, you can always reschedule your posts so that they are made public a few weeks before the horrid circus. I highly recommend that you start composing your articles now so that if anything unfortunate were to happen, they will still be published. It’s also a good idea to schedule them so that they appear when you are at school, on the job or somewhere in public and away from your computer.

Start a Twitter Account under an assumed name. Blogs allow you to connect to Twitter. This way, when your article is published, its link will be broadcast on Twitter. Important: Make certain to include the hashtag #Snapperfest in the title of each post. Thousands of us worldwide will be watching for that tag. We will make sure that your info reaches the masses. You may also want to include “@Peta” in the titles. This will flag them as well and I am sure they would love to be updated on your expose’.

If any of you do not live in the area, you can also help. If you are planning a vacation or a trip through Indiana, may I recommend that you stay at Campshore Campground. Utilizing the above tactics, you can also participate in the mission for the brief time you are in Rising Sun, Indiana. You can also assist by copying this entire article and posting it to your own blog. The more copies that are out there, the easier it will be to find.

If you are a part of Camp WannaTortureAnimals and the host of Snapperfest and you are reading this (which I am sure that you are) please understand that I am in no way affiliated with PETA. I do support them in spirit, but I am just an average guy with a blog. I am one of the people and had you taken heed to PETA’s advice, I would not be writing this blog today. We, the people, now have no choice but to gum up the works of your torture machine. We, the people, have no choice but to reach into your comfort zone, your sanctuary, your shell and pull you out into the light of day against your will for all the world to see. We do so in the fashion by which you have so proudly displayed: with a complete and utter disregard for your feelings and rights. You really should have listened to PETA. Let’s see how much cheering you do when you find that we have put a fork in your corn flakes.

“He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr

“By being inattentive to the needs of others, inevitably we end up harming them.” ~ Dalai Lama

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